The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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