I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There r osticjed everywhere
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
