Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
