I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize