He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
then he tried to convert me to islam
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
