I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
