All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
