I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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