i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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