You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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