Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
