Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
