pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
