oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
