he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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