My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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