Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
