its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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