Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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