She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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