rhymes with "ouble enetration"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
