But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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