lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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