A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Text me some of your sweat
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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