A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
