That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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