I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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