What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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