I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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