i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
