Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
