laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
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I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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