I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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