She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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