Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
