batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
