It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
