it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
her vagine was all disorganized.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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