New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I look better un-naked...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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