I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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