Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
