so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
