i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need a beard to bite.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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