What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
