Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
