Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
