Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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(804): View more from Virginia

is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.

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(650): View more from California

Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.

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(703): View more from Virginia

We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for

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