do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
