Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.