And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
