Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(317): View more from Indiana

She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(317): She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples http://tfl.nu/mvdp

Replies (36) Good night (1663) Bad night (1970)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock. http://tfl.nu/z9t5

Replies (18) Good night (4268) Bad night (683)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/n2ms

Replies (12) Good night (794) Bad night (3820)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move." http://tfl.nu/deqa

Replies (33) Good night (4659) Bad night (740)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?" http://tfl.nu/prc0

Replies (8) Good night (3711) Bad night (1091)
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex http://tfl.nu/5t79

Replies (17) Good night (5963) Bad night (1079)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work http://tfl.nu/ryiy

Replies (11) Good night (2242) Bad night (1102)
Favorite
(254): View more from Texas

We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(254): We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight. http://tfl.nu/fhx0

Replies (4) Good night (1722) Bad night (662)
Favorite
(908): View more from New Jersey

Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(908): Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea. http://tfl.nu/8iqm

Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (1047)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband. http://tfl.nu/f6ah

Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (1673)
Favorite
(808): View more from Hawaii

Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n

Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (660)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here" http://tfl.nu/wz3j

Replies (1) Good night (1435) Bad night (437)
Favorite
(803): View more from South Carolina

He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(803): He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple. http://tfl.nu/4atf

Replies (2) Good night (1280) Bad night (363)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded. http://tfl.nu/lwdx

Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (317)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame. http://tfl.nu/9nrq

Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (596)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard