At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.