there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
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It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
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Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt