we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
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You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."