Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.