he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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