we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I feel like a drive thru vagina
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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