girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
