At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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