He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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