omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
