So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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