i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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