so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
