You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
