this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
