This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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