Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
