I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
