So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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