He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
