i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize